While other gals eat twinkles straight out of their guy’s eyes

At home I’ve got a frozen Fred who thumps around and sighs

“Why can’t you be thinner?  Your boobs are much too small!”

And Fred knows best…he tells me when we walk around the mall

He walks past aisles of thighs and breasts at the grocery market

grabs my hand and tells me…”You should grow a garden!”

When it comes to Fred…I love that man…will do all he wishes

I pull some weeds, buy some seeds for hundreds of radishes

Whoops…I didn’t listen to… Fred knows best he told me

“Skinny is as skinny does but radishes look fatty”

So I look for something thin and tall in the grocery store

pay 12 dimes …take them home and thought… I could use more

“Fred dear, I need quarters to buy some skinny seeds”

“What you got in the bag, somethin’ there for me?”

“Of course dear Fred I’m planting..your waist-like pinky dream”

He grabs the bag, glares at me and yells, “but these are Twinkies!”

I twirl around and smile at him and give cute winky winkies

“Oh I’m glad you like them…you see how thin they are?”

“I’m going to plant a Twinkie patch…you see… just that far…”

“You fat pig!  You stupid frog! You won’t lose weight he stomps!”

“Don’t fuss Fred it will be OK…I’ll put them in my bra”